


Gotham Ghost Scandals

by LaughingThalia



Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types, DCU, DCU (Comics), Nightwing (Comics), Red Hood and the Outlaws (Comics), Robin (Comics), Under the Red Hood
Genre: 5+1 Things, Big Brother Dick Grayson, But He's Also A Good Kid And A Really Good Actor, Crocodile Tears, Damian Wayne is a Brat, Denny's, Dick Grayson is a Police Officer, Fake Character Death, Gotham, Gotham City - Freeform, Gotham Gazette, Late Night Conversations, No proofreading we die like mne, Past Character Death, Police Officer Dick Grayson, Presumed Dead, Tim drake is a nerd, waynes are the kardashians
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-07
Updated: 2018-01-07
Packaged: 2019-03-01 17:17:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 2,808
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13299510
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LaughingThalia/pseuds/LaughingThalia
Summary: 5 times Jason had to pretend to still be dead+1 time he got tired of people saying he looked like that dead Wayne kid because hewasthat dead Wayne kid thank you very much.





	1. That Is Not My Job

**Author's Note:**

  * For [fantasticfours](https://archiveofourown.org/users/fantasticfours/gifts), [ChimaeraKitten](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChimaeraKitten/gifts), [pupeez4eva](https://archiveofourown.org/users/pupeez4eva/gifts).



> Ms Teller was a really tiny barely anything reference to Artemis by Andy Weir because that's what Jazz' teacher is called back when she was 9 so there you go.
> 
> Also this whole fic was inspired by Wayne Family Ghost by Pupeez4eva http://archiveofourown.org/works/5320208

When his phone rang Jason swore to himself. Or more accurately Red Hood swore to himself. He shot two of the guys who were guarding Black Mask's shipment of whatever illegal thing he had shipped into Gotham and held a gun at the third one's head as he answered the phone “What do you want? I'm busy.”

 

“I need you to get Damian from school.”

 

“What? I'm not picking up that Demon Brat. Why can't you do it?”

 

“I'm off world, Dick is in the middle of a covert mission and Tim is in a Wayne Industries meeting that he can't get out of. I really need you to do this for me Jason, please.”

 

Jason sighed dramatically inside his helmet before prostrating “Fine. But you owe me. When do I need to collect?”

 

“20 minutes.”

 

“20 minutes! I'm like 40 minutes away!”

 

“I'm sure you'll find a way to cut that journey in half.”

 

“I'm sure I could cut that journey in half but like I said I'm busy. I'm literally doing something right now.”

 

“You didn't kill anyone did you?”

 

“Relax, they're just unconscious. You owe me so much, if I'm going to make it in time I'm going to have to let the police handle these guys.” He handcuffed them all and said to the guy who was still awake “You are so lucky.” before pistol whipping him unconscious.

 

Red Hood parcoured across Gotham, taking all the short cuts he could think of to get to Gotham Academy in time to collect Damien and as he neared the school he stashed his guns in a high up perched and took off his helmet. Of course he had his domino mask underneath, he'd take that off when he was closer to the school. He looked down at himself, there was no sign of blood or a trace of his vigilante/criminal activities since he didn't really wear a suit, all he had to do was zip up his leather jacket and he was home free. 

 

Jason stuck out like a sore thumb amongst all the parents and drivers/butlers/nannies/hired help there to collect kids. He was severely under dressed and several of the teachers and mums were giving him the stink eye, he thinks someone must have called security on him because a few moments later two guards appear at opposite ends of the yard and they're staring daggers at him, daring him to act up. Bruce owed him soooooo much.

 

When Damian came out of school with his friend, Collin, they both looked around for Bruce or Alfred and Damian stopped dead in his tracks when he saw Jason standing there instead. A scowl appeared on his face but he went over to his brother and hissed “What are you doing here? Where's father? Or Pennyworth?”

 

“Apparently everyone's busy so here I am, acting like a good brother and collecting you from school.”

 

"You're not my brother." Damian hissed, hostilely.

 

A teacher approached them “Damian sweetie, is this man bothering you?”

 

He gritted his teeth at her “Don't call me sweetie, I am not a chi-” Jason nudged him. Damian reciprocated with a glare and sighed quietly before starting again “No Ms Teller, he's not bothering me, he's here to collect me from school.”

 

“Who is he? I don't believe he's on the list of approved pick ups.”

 

The words tumbled out of Jason's mouth before he could stop them “Jason Todd.”

 

Ms Teller looked at him weirdly “Jason...Todd?”

 

It took Jason a second to realise why she was so confused. Jason Todd was supposed to be dead, Jason Todd had died _years_ ago. Crap. “Obviously not _that_ Jason Todd. Apparently it's a real common name in Gotham. I'm - I'm Mr Wayne's driver. Everyone's super busy with Wayne Enterprises and I live in the area so I'm getting paid extra to come down here in my off hours and do something that isn't my job. It was kind of last minute, hence the clothes.”

 

Ms Teller looked suspicious but after a look at Damian she seemed to buy the story “Well legally I can't let you leave until I've confirmed your story. I will call Mr Wayne and confirmed he allowed you to take charge of his son.”

 

“Of course.” Jason smiled at her.

 

She ushered one of the guards over and he already had Bruce on speed dial, the phone rang four times before Bruce picked up “Hello?”

 

“Mr Wayne this is Gotham Academy.”

 

“Is something wrong with Damian?”

 

“No no, Damian is just fine.”

 

“Well I'm really very busy then.”

 

“I understand and I assure you Mr Wayne this won't take long. We just need to confirm you allowed a Mr Jason Todd to pick up your son?”

 

“Oh yes, I sent him in my charge. Sorry, I forgot to inform the school.”

 

“It's quite alright Mr Wayne. I'm sorry to bother you, that was all.”

 

“Okay, goodbye.” He hung up.

 

Ms Teller smiled apologetically at Jason “Sorry for the delay, but these are some pretty rich kids, you can understand that we wouldn't want them wandering off with just anyone.”

 

“Of course, I understand 100%.” He looked down at Damian “Now let's get you home shall we.”

 

As soon as they were out of ear shot of anyone Damian sneered “Tt. Really Todd? What are the odds Father has a dead son and a trusted driver both called Jason Todd.”

 

“Actually pretty high, I've searched my name before there really are a lot of Jason Todds in Gotham. You'd be surprised.”


	2. Sign Here.

Part of reconciling with the Bat family meant he spent a lot more time at the manor which was nice because Alfred's cooking but also kind of sucked because Tim and Damian argued 24/7 and he couldn't escape Bruce's judgemental eyes. It also meant sometimes he had to open the door or collect packages. Now was one of those times. The doorbell had rung, Bruce was in the cave and all three of his legally alive sons yelled “NOT IT!” from their rooms. Jason grumbled the whole way to the door but put on a smile for whoever was on the other side “Hello?”

 

“Hi, I have a package for Richard Grayson.” He hadn't looked up yet, having been paying attention to his papers and the package itself “If you could sign here.”

 

Jason scrawled his messy _Jason Todd_ into the little box and handed it back to the man.

 

The guy checked the signature to make sure it checked out and then did a double take “Jason Todd?” He said finally looking up.

 

Crap. How had Jason done this again? He had an alias James Head and yet he kept on writing and saying Jason Todd. Talia and Bruce would be disappointed. “It's a really common name.”

 

“But who are you?” he asked.

 

“Jason Todd.” He laughed as he stalled for time with a bad joke. The driver excuse wouldn't really work since he was in the house. “I work for Mr Wayne.”

 

“Even though your name is Jason Todd?”

 

“I've always gone by Jay and I don't think Mr Wayne knows my last name to be honest.” Shrugging like ' _rich people, what are you gonna do?_ ' 

 

The Post man seemed to buy the story. When in doubt rely on the working class' ability to find the worst in the 1%. “Well have a good day sir, sorry for the cross examination.”

 

“No harm done. You have a good day as well.” The man turned away and Jason shut the door breathing out a sigh of relief. As he went to deliver Dick's package to him, he swore wouldn't mention his little slip up to anyone, he'd already gotten laughed at by Tim for his mistake at Damian's school.


	3. White Collar

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you haven't seen White Collar search it up because the guy who plays Neal DAYUM he is hot.

“You remind me of someone.” The cashier at the 7/11 said as he scanned Jason's items.

 

Jason sent him an awkward smile “I just have one of those faces.”

 

“No no, I've definitely seen you. Are you on TV?”

 

“I wish.” Jason snorted, wishing the guy would hurry up with his items.

 

“You know who you look like?”

 

“The guy from White Collar?”

 

The cashier nodded “You do look a bit like him. Except you're more rugged. No I was going to say you look like what Jason Todd would have looked like if he had grown up. Like one of those apps you can get.”

 

“Mm. I've never gotten that before.” Which was technically true, “I suppose I do.” Jason laughed weakly.

 

“Like you look scarily similar.” Crap.

 

Jason laughed again, no way would the cashier go from 'you look like' to 'you are' given that Jason Todd was supposed to be dead.

 

One of the other workers, a 16 year old girl came over having heard their conversation “OMG you're right Vicky he actually does look like Jason Todd!”

 

“I'm feeling very uncomfortable being compared to a dead kid.” Jason said as she finally scanned the last item.

 

“Oh right sorry.” Vicky apologise “Jade get back to work. That will be $17.79 sir.”

 

Jason handed her $20 and gave her a “Keep the change.” As he picked up his items and left before he even got the receipt.


	4. AND PEGGY

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've literally never been to Denny's. My only knowledge of it is from other Batman fics about going to Denny's late at night and being accosted by College Students.  
> three am at denny's by wwwlw http://archiveofourown.org/works/12432930 and Denny's by ChimaeraKitten http://archiveofourown.org/works/8804629 like literally you see how unoriginal and British I am.
> 
> Also I recently saw Hamilton in the West End (of London) so yes, I'm obsessed with Hamilton now hence all the "and Peggy"s everywhere.

Tim, Dick, Damian and Jason were eating at Denny's at 11 PM. Dick had ordered midnight pancakes, whilst the rest of them had gone with more sensible, time-appropriate food. Damian had almost bitten the waitresses head off when she'd offered him a kid's menu although from the way he was slowing down in his eating he would soon regret it.

 

Two of the other occupants some loud-ish and very shrill college girls kept giving them looks which wasn't unusual. They were Bruce Wayne's kids after all and the Wayne's were practically royalty in Gotham. It was only when their extremely loud admiration of Grayson's ass turned into hushed whispers that Jason thought something was wrong.

 

They approached the table nervously, one of them dragging the other and Dick sent them a disarming and charming smile. Damian scowled at them. Tim and Jason ignored them in favour of their food.

 

“Um hi.” The leading one said nervously, “I'm Angelica, this is Peggy-”

 

“Like Hamilton.” Tim said, not even looking at them which threw them off.

Apparently they hadn't heard of Hamilton because they ploughed on with their speech rather than being completely derailed like any true fan would have been. “We were just over there and we couldn't help but notice that all the Wayne brothers were over here and that you look remarkably like...Jason Todd.”

 

Jason spat out his orange juice. Crap. “Um what?” He said trying to act confused.

 

Dick and Tim were sending each other looks of warning, having a silent conversation. And then Damian took one for the team and burst out crying “I just came here to eat some foot and relax and then these mean ladies reminded me of- of- of my dead brother!” He bawled, crocodile tears filling his eyes and spilling down his cheeks.

 

Dick pulled him into a hug “There there Dami, it'll be okay.”

 

“Oh my God!” Peggy exclaimed “We are so sorry! We didn't mean to- we didn't mean to ofend you or make you cry or upset you!”

 

Tim nodded “I think it would be best if you left.”

 

Angelica **and Peggy** left immediately back to their own table, embarrassed and red faced, completely forgetting that in the public time line Damian had never even met Jason, having arrived at the Wayne house hold several years too late.

 

Damian let his sobs slowly die out as Jason tried to stifle his laughter at the whole situation, Dick sighed, “Boy that was close. Good job Dami.”

 

“Well someone had to cover for Todd's stupidity.” he wiped the fake tears from his face.

 

Tim looked at him awed “I didn't know you could do that. That was like Oscar worthy little bro, why aren't you in Drama club?”

 

Damian scoffed “So I can put on sub par performances of Lion King and Hamilton? No thank you.”

 

Jason snorted “Well you saved my ass.”


	5. Um...Isn't Jason... You Know... Like... Dead?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Notice how every chapter someone has a total 'OH FUCK I'VE MESSED UP MOMENT@ and just goes 'Crap.'?
> 
> Also the 'she' is Amy but I can't spell her surname and I'm adding this in post and I know I could just scroll down and fix this right now but ain't nobody got time for that.

Dick froze as it suddenly sunk in what he'd just said. He looked up and saw several people staring at him awkwardly. Crap. 

 

“Um... Dick...” One of his colleges said awkwardly, he didn't register which one as his mind raced for an excuse “Isn't Jason...” she trailed off before she said dead.

 

He's just said he was going to hang out with his brothers and make fun of Jason. _Make fun of Jason_ , his dead brother Jason. Fuck. He was in a room full of highly trained cops and detectives all who were looking at him with various stages of confusion and pity. “Yeah...” He found himself saying “Sometimes I just forget, you know?”

 

Detective Whites nodded, they weren't really friends but boy was Dick glad he said something “I'm the same, my friend died last year and sometimes I'll go to text her about something that happened that she'd find cool because I forget she's gone.”

 

Dick took that opportunity to escape, he was already on his way out of the door when he had said it and now he had the cover of grief to escape on “Bye guys.” He waved at the bullpen. The people he was friendly with waved back.

 

As he made the drive across the Blüdhaven-Gotham border toll bridge to his family he couldn't help think about how lucky he was no one pressed further.


	6. Quit Telling People I'm Dead

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys! This is my 50th fic on AO3! This is so exciting! I'm half way to 100!

Bruce, Dick, Jason, Tim and Damian were eating Chinese food at some terrible Chinese restaurant that Dick had picked out from his student days when suddenly Vicki Vale was in their faces with a camera. “Mr Wayne, what do you say about the reports that this man who has been seen a lot with your sons is actually Jason Todd?”

 

Crap. Bruce looked at her and the camera and then back to Jason, he had no explanation for who he was and why he had hung around his kids so much. He could blurt out that he was Dick's boyfriend and he wishes to be kept on the DL but he doubted either Dick or Jason (or Damian) would appreciate that. It took him a second to realise he'd been sitting there with his mouth flapping open and closed for quite some time, this certainly fed into the 'Brucie Wayne' dumb-ass billionaire act he put on, although it was discomforting that that had been completely genuine this time.

 

Jason stood up angrily, “You know what I'm sick of all my terrible cover stories and people recognising me at 7/11s when I'm trying to buy condoms! Yes Vicki Vale and yes Gotham I am Jason Todd, the deceased adopted son of Bruce Wayne who clearly isn't deceased. You're probably wondering how the hell I'm alive or why we never said anything; but...” _mmmm could he say that Talia Al Ghul had brought him back? Why would the heir assassin bring him back to life?_ “I was kidnapped by one of Gotham's most evil villains when I was a kid and they reported to both the GCPD and to Bruce that they had killed me. I was then imprisoned outside of Gotham but I escaped and returned home only to find two new brat siblings. Well to be more accurate one is a brat,” he gestured at Damian “The other is just a nerd but I still wasn't expecting that. And as you can imagine I was traumatised by my ordeal and so I asked the family to keep it quiet whilst I healed and got used to my new family and now we're stronger than ever.”

Jason was proud at how little lies had gone into that. Joker _had_ kidnapped him and he had reported to the GCPD that he had died, only difference was it had been the truth. And he had been imprisoned out of Gotham by Talia and trained and then he got out and came back home, even if he hadn't originally meant to return to the family and it had been purely revenge based he had come to like his brothers even if Damian was annoying as hell.

“So yes I'm alive and I'm still recovering and my Chinese is getting cold so can you get the fuck out?”

 

Vicki looked positively gleeful with her scoop and she left immediately already working on the best way to convey this epic story to the rest of Gotham and how she had just gone from celebrity tabloids to Wayne family ghost scandals. She had already started practising for when she would report on it “You heard it here first folks. Vicki Vale Gotham Gazette reporting live from Gotham.” She started muttering to herself as she reviewed the footage.


End file.
